Sheeprants

Blog

  • Bertha Won’t Go Back..

    Bertha made it perfectly clear there is no going back to the pen. The girl has had a taste of the good life, is living her best life and there is no way she will go back to the pen, perverse farmer who wanted menage a trois with that perverse farmer or twisted shrink, Basil. Oh, we know about the sanctuary cities coming under attack.

    Bertha is prepared to do a full on, full frontal, back side, assault and to hell with their eyes. If they think they are going to put her in cuffs and take her, they better buy her dinner and drinks first. This sheep is going nowhere. She feels for those getting taken. Even legals who dare speak out, are getting cuffed without dinner and dancing and shipped off to God knows where. Nobody is going to grab her by her ya ya’s and shove mint jelly up her bum and be told to like it. Now we admit there are some unscrupulous cats and terriers we would like to see that done to, but sheep? Never.

    Have they forgotten she is a transgendered sheep, not just a terrier on the make. The woman has or had balls, had them removed to blend in, got implants, front and back, wigs, waxing, tans lashes, the full Monty. Nobody goes thru all of that unless they plan on staying. We stand corrected, Bruce, yeah, he kinda did, but we have to say he passes. Just don’t stand too close, that five o’clock shadow does creep in. How is Bertha on the list, what did she do to deserve such treatment you ask?

    The dame has a mouth, she tells it like she is, won’t stay quiet, or put up with Elon and Putin no matter how hard they beg. No more channel nights, or Louboutin meet ups, sharing their feet which have been who knows where. Even rodents have said, they won’t go there. Bertha has attacked everyone with good cause. She outted the buggers trying to cheat on their taxes, do insider trading, which reminds us Margie, we hope you got waxed and dipped before your time at Camp Cupcake. If not be ready for someone meaner than Epstein coming for you or Giselle.

    Bertha is not going down without a fight, and not even a politico who likes to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, wants to get in her way. The girl has game and knows how to give the middle hoof. If you think ICE is going to grab her from behind, she is prepared. The sheep is trained in karate, has teeth and will use them. The best have tried even to get her in bed. If they can’t succeed ICE won’t either.

    Is she afraid of having to go back to using name brand products or bicycle pumps, or driving a no name car? Nah, she has used Crisco and Preparation H for her bags under her eyes so No, that isn’t it. Is she afraid of having dragon breath that smells like Eau de Snarl? No again. The dame isn’t’ worried about any of that. She refuses to have to go back to those who will treat her like a trollop. Sure, pick someone who has bedroom eyes and double D’s, who looks good in boudoir attire, and can spank you with the best of them, wear spank me sailor and who knows her way around whips and chains. Stop confusing her with Elon, that is him not her.

    She is watching how Americans are getting taken by ICE and now sheep too. Those nefarious buggers who want to control humans and spank them into submission are in for a rude awakening. They are starting to spank back, protest, demand hearings, and go after the biggest con of all….Donald, the world is watching.

    Sheep think humans need to slap back, bite, do whatever it takes to avoid getting reduced to mutton. No playing patty cake, no let me see your cabinet, (a game Italians in Italy know well). No raising our skirts and showing it off. It’s time to take the trash out, show teeth and bite hard. Nice will get you laid, maybe, but it won’t keep you from getting deported.

    Sheep know if you let them get by with this it won’t end. Before you know it, cats, dogs, anyone who can speak, parrots are all up for grabs. Those who belong in detention camps, arrested are running the asylum, what is wrong with that picture? You did not vote for that. You were lied to and conned. Now it’s time to take the baby out with the bathwater and move forward. They can’t take all of us and seriously taking kids with cancer. Only a total fop, a bloody toad would do that. Those who allow it or aid and abet him are just as guilty. Be ashamed of yourselves, go back to the pig stye you came from and stay there. Humans are disgusted by you and your ilk. Just naff off, go the hell away and leave humans alone and sheep too.

  • Bertha Gets Real..

    Everywhere you look there are families struggling to pay their bills, make a house payment, pay rent, buy groceries, pay for healthcare, make payments for childcare, basic survival. Sheep get it. Sheep like to zing those who cause problems for others, ignore the needs of others, push dangerous and costly agendas not for the good of all, but only the good of some. In this vain we invite you to not just read this for laughs but to take a hard look next to you. It might be a family member or friend, coworker or one who just lost their job and everything they worked for. Sheep are not immune to this fight. We might mock ourselves and the means we will go to keep up our boudoir image. But even for sheep, the fight is real.

    Not everyone is able to afford the kinds of groceries they once did. Going to the store is now a fight to see what they can afford and maintain a household as well. Whether you live in a big city or small community, rich or poor, middle class or homeless, people are fighting the good fight. We challenge you to go beyond your comfort zone, take a hard look at those who are suffering. Look at the long lines of people waiting to get food at food banks. Go to the food banks and drop off whatever you can, or a donation for them to keep them filled.

    No Margie it’s not a political issue or statement. It is a human request, one that Congress could take on, in order to assist those who are in most need. You won’t get rich, and you won’t make brownie points with a dictator, but what you gain is self-respect, dignity, while preserving both in those who are in need. Those who are struggling are not who you might think. They are teachers, nurses, parents, fired federal and private sector employees, people who lost wages and security.

    Maga would call them losers, laugh at them, mock them, spit on them. Sheep are here to tell you, nobody is immune, it can happen to anyone and unlike a limping biscuit, or Kidd Rock, Ted Scroogent, or any Musk supporter, including Elon himself, yes, it can happen to them. No amount of Zieg Heils will help or change it. The way things are going now, the public just might end up much like the victims of Auschwitz, where the poor were picked up, taken to internment camps for no other reason than poverty.

    Bertha shudders at the thought of innocent people struggling to survive must also worry about a mad dictator wanna be, willing to lock up the poor, middle class. Their only crime is poverty. Poverty is not a crime, and nobody should mock it, nor those who are living thru it. Its real, painful, embarrassing, expensive, and those who only see that little bit of assistance are losing rights, civil liberties, voting rights, all of it.

    People didn’t realize how powerful groceries were. It’s the items themselves, but it’s what they represent. Unless you are in or have walked in the shoes of many, and Bertha and Puppy have, you cannot appreciate what those items mean. To Bertha it means no more bicycle pumps to inflate those damn implants, or super glue to keep her wigs on straight, duct tape to remove fur when she cannot get to the salon. Puppy can get his produce and yaya’s on, He can grope, hump, ride and slide to his heart’s content, and have a crudite platter for later. Did you really think we would forget to add the sarcasm and humor, oh ye of little faith.

    Sheep don’t care if you are putting together bags like we did for families, with can openers, spices, salt and pepper to cook with. Just make sure it’s not stale, spoiled or about to dance. If you really feel rich, and want to put smiles on faces, get a 50.00-dollar gift card in place of the canned goods. We know it is a lot, but think of all you can do with this, not buying those lattes, getting your roots retouched, or nails repainted. It is something you take for granted, but something so many can’t.

    Sheep are looking out for the little guys and gals, their families, little ones, and with your help, together we can give them some confidence that people are looking out for them and each other. In case you are wondering, yes sheep have donated to their favorite food pantry, and plan on getting backers to help us with our goal. There is so much we cannot control now, but this is something that we give our stamp of approval to. It’s not political, does not care if you are every color of the rainbow, your size, choice, party. It is giving back to those most in need. If sheep can do it, Bertha and Puppy can do it, we know you have it in your hearts to do this too.

  • Trump’s Huge Mistake

    Sheep know its human to make mistakes, God knows Bertha has made hers. The use of duct tape to try to shave her upper lip? Yeah, bad move, it almost cost her losing both. Or the need to try plaster to shave her pits, just a huge NO. Do we dare discuss the attempt to reinflate her implants with a high-pressure air compressor, or her toucas? It’s one thing to use Preparation H to reduce puffiness under her eyes, but she applied it to other areas and well, things just went sideways from there. Human mistakes that are silly, come with a tiny bit of sting, but won’t impact other people Puppy also has had his share. He chose the wrong melon to romp, one with spikes, and was feeling that one for a long time.

    Sheep are talking about Major mistakes that end up costing millions of innocent people their hard-earned salaries, social security they paid into, healthcare, benefits and now tariffs. Even his own people are calling him out on it. It’s about friggin time. But sheep have learned most of the world has turned on us, including sheep. Guys, sheep want nothing to do with those things. We oppose his plans, know they will solve nothing and cause more strain on already tenuous ties.

    His level of remorse is less than the size of rodent droppings and In New York, they can be huge. But we are talking about their tinier siblings, mouse droppings. He is incapable of seeing any downside because sheep think he suffers from dementia and for sure Elon has anal glaucoma. This is perhaps the worst combination in office, a man who sees the world thru his behind and the other who mentally has the mindset of a toddler.

    His own people are starting to pull away from him, question his lies and motives. They are waking up from their purple haze, and Kool aide chasers. Sheep tried to warn them, but they didn’t want to believe they too could be affected by Trumps attacks on democrats. Well Gertrude, you are learning the hard way that you got played. Still there are some who flat out refuse to accept the lies he continues to spew.

    It is time folks to put this dog in his place, offer him a dose of crossed eyes. It is time to demand articles of impeachment, taking down his entire staff that aid and abet him. Nothing is worth selling your soul to someone who hasn’t got your backs, will blame you for the mess he creates. Gaslighting to avoid responding is aiding and abetting him. Not standing up to him, allowing him to continue to be a bully is worse. Not to will only bring on more pain for everyone on both sides and yes you too.

    The blonde and the conspiracy freak, gotta go. The first one legally knows better and the second one, well, she has gotta go. Those still willing to force his agenda, gotta go. There is no upside to keeping them and are only hurting his own party. Rats flee sinking ships, but these that are drowning are still clinging to him like Charmin to …. you get the idea. Either way, it’s time to flush them all.

    One woman who was devout Maga still insists we are the problem. No dear, sheep are not the problem. On what planet does she believe this? Our allies have abandoned us, won’t let us travel to their countries. That isn’t an oops we wet em kind of a thing. It is “get the Depends Mildred the kid crapped his pants.!!!” ” Those new parents who are not used to junior, yeah it’s like that. The Kid being Donald. Biden is snickering, he tried to warn you.

  • Bertha won’t Budge..

    Guys, I know many of you are afraid to allow your best writers to offer material in your magazines. You want them to go away, not have to pay them. Nobody is going away, and Sheeprants isn’t either. Bertha won’t budge. She won’t cave to threats, censorship, can’t be bought to stay silent. This dame has a will of iron.

    Nothing pisses this sheep off more than a couple of grifters, bullies who assume they can silence the masses and steal from them. Yes boys, you know who you are. Sheep see right thru you and are not going to go away. It’s the ones you can’t see that will out you. We have been here longer than you. Why? When you were doing your misdeeds, sheep were watching. You are transparent.

    Bertha could tell you more about you than you want to know and that includes the rather unusual person you call Mother. He might own you, spank you and put you to bed, sheep want no part of it. it takes a lot to disgust a sheep, and we have seen every form of: voyeurism, fetish, issues with rodents, produce humping, guys who get off saying WHEEE, dating balls of cheese, or sniffing lint, that like to have menage a trois with sheep. For the record we are not afraid of ladders, are not allergic to latex and we are rather attached to our organs thank you.

    We will not be swayed by idle words on tile nor expensive shoes only a toothpick would dare to wear. Your assumption that we will falter to your whims or snarl leave you in our dust. it is pathetic that so many institutions who allowed brilliant writers to discuss politics using facts, are willing to cave to cowards. Sheep are not cowards, and ya better be prepared as no judge will side with you if we meet up. Taking on mythical, transgendered sheep, really? This will be fun, we can’t wait.

    To those who are too afraid to print the works of brilliant writers, just do it. Nothing can happen to you. Nobody can silence you or them, it is a blatant violation of the law and constitution. Unlike the two grifters, sheep don’t plan to use the constitution in the loo. It’s not just a damn piece of paper.

    Donald we plan on being that twinge in your toucas, that vile, belch from the bile you spew to your groups. We will be that burn you cannot place in your backside. No, it won’t come from Puppy. He has better taste and won’t lower himself to your level. As for Elon, the ketamine excuse only goes so far. This is all you. It is your spoiled upbringing, sense of entitlement, that somehow you are better than snarl.

    Did daddy cut you out of his will, is that why you are so mean? Did he put you on an allowance? Grow up. Lots of people including sheep get disowned, must make it on their own without theft. Wanting to steal from those who spent their entire lives working their behinds off is beyond disgusting. Sheep know you are nothing more than a thief in Armani.

    The protests you see, voices you hear are not in your head. Those are the people you choose to harm, have harmed. Bertha hears voices in her head, but not from people. Its that damn farmer who keeps trying to woo her with promises of long, shaggy nights. Unless you want a go with him, we hear he likes feet. Puppy says he is also into spanking.

    But trust us, you won’t be able to shut us down. You can scream, threaten us with legal action, we are not going anywhere. no judges will tell us to go away, and some find us quite amusing. But we will never give up our sources. Bertha came too far to be told to behave. She is not going back to the pen. Puppy is not going back to his two owners who were a little too into the whole love your beast routine. That came out wrong, those days are behind him, and now its groping melons, humping squash, and carrots. Whatever turns the little guy on.

    Speaking out and up is our right, just as groping women and not paying child support is yours. Actually, it’s not your right to grope women and not pay child support. There are laws for that. Apparently, someone can’t keep it in his pants, and out of hers. By the way, attacking journalists, violates free speech as well.

    Come after the music industry they won’t be so nice. Sheep hear some of them will toss you as fast as they can. You won’t see straight and might end up like Bertha. Honey you would not pass.

    Before trying to come after sheep, think before you speak. Every word and action will be used against you. You won’t see it coming, but it will bite you.

  • Bertha Leaves FB…

    Bertha made the decision to leave Facebook. The constant harassment from lotharios, midnight vetchling and crying spells, and that just from Elon and Donald. No she won’t send them gift cards, she isn’t into crypto and she won’t give out her bank info. You would think after she has responded with a swift slap upside the head they would take the hint.

    Elon, we get it you are up to your toucas in financial losses at Tesla. and Donald, well, yeah. You made your bed and now you are Putin’s bitch. Humans don’t want you, like you nor trust you. You slept with the wrong dog, got fleas and even your judges have turned against you. People warned us about you. Really, you are using Eminem to hide behind? Oh, for shame.

    You texted Melanoma that you were hot for her, wanted her to send you gift cards for McDonald’s, that is just pathetic. Oh girl I hope they came laced with go lightly now. If Bertha had a dollar for every fake Marshall she encountered she would be a billionaire.

    Let us guess, they want naughty photos of you. You did tell them they are already online, so blackmail is out of the question. They swore their undying love for you and wanted your body next to theirs. Uh huh, and it will come with a hefty fee if they do. Did you tell them the incident about the blow-up doll was already out there? How about the one nighter with the guy from…. Epstein, yeah, that was out there too. These guys are screwed.

    They tapped Marla too. Guys get a clue, they are just not that into you. Go to your baby papa in Russia, tell them mother send you. The boys in black are coming for you, and when they get all that money you stole getting people to buy crypto, send gift cards, give them bank info, their social security checks? Someone better like fur lined handcuffs. Both men are pointing to each other. It isn’t a matter of if or when, its go time.

    One poor woman said she was getting flooded with emails from these fakes begging for nude photos. Didn’t know Putin sent those out, did they come with toys or produce, puppy wants to know. Maybe Lauren or MTG can send him some, perhaps that old gal who speaks with forked tongue, not the Navajo woman, other one. dark hair, beady eyes, wears glasses, looks like coyote. No offense to our native American friends, we appreciate your fandom. What is that dames’ name? First word sounds like gin.

    Yeah, we went there. Hey, someone had to. Sheep call them like we see them. Hey, we go full frontal your base complains, we don’t our base complains, so we went neutral, now we are like Canada. Sheep like Canada and its people. Hi people. We like a lot of people. Vladamir, you old dog you, you are in our base camp too.

    Sheep are going to let the boys fight it out over who lands MTG and who gets Lauren, and someone is going to end up with Putin. I feel for Marshall, all of those guys fighting over him. Not a dame in sight. Sheep know what he is looking for, we get it. He has a friend in sheep. Bertha really has the hots for him. Down girl, the last man you pounced on is still in a cast. Hey, the woman likes it rough, who knew? Poor guy got a restraining order against her. What can we say, Limp Biscuit is rocking his house. Bertha made it a night to remember, all night long. Ok so Bertha was listening to some Bryan when she did this. She has good taste.

    Mark, you need to stop taking pay offs and get your house in order. Those two men will come back to bite you and not in a Bertha kind of way. Like a wise man once said to the con men trying to woo women ” don’t’ let the door hit you where the good lord split you honey, Bertha, your book of zangi and what’s up app codes are where you last put them, in case any of the guys in black need them.

  • Bertha’s Gloves are off…

    Today, the US if violating free speech on college campuses, next week they’ll jail a few journalist, next month, maybe you or me! Bertha is having none of it. Nobody shuts down a transgender sheep. They can try, but they will end up looking very stupid. Going to court, trying to take on a mythical, transgender, sheep who nobody has ever actually seen or met, that goes into the yaya bin.

    Bertha can’t wait to testify, and she is bringing in a whole crowd of nasty with her. Let’s hope the jury wears depends. Let’s hope one of the prosecutors is Hawley. We know we want Jamie and Hillary to represent us, throw in Liz. Oh, this will be fun. We almost can’t wait for the trial to begin.

    Free speech has never been a crime, not even a misdemeanor. Robbing the rights of journalists, humans, smacks of someone who is in deep caca and does not want the name of the guilty dog known. Two men whom we know already belong in federal prison are the masters behind this massive attack on the written and verbal news, Much like what they tried to do with Assange, they will label anyone who dare speak out against them, question their actions and activities, financial gains and means of obtaining them, sort of smacks of relics of the past.

    Wanting to lock anyone up, send them to internment camps, black houses is a total throwback to the bygone days of Bush and Cheney. You knew him as that goat reading president and his sidekick Satan. Give it up for the dynamic trio. The goat didn’t want any part of this, so he is gracefully bowing out. Yessir the Patriot Act is coming back, making a whiplash visit to all the good people in the media and college campuses. And if they can really catch us all, a bathroom stall near you. Y’all thought that was over, didn’t ya? Nah, they were saving all their love for you….

    The thing is they cannot silence those they cannot see. Have they seen us? Um, no. We have seen them, know them, know all of their proclivities. Puppy is saying one of them is into feet. Its always the billionaires. Do we ever see the Kardashians doing this? Puppy said he thinks he heard a rumor about the one married to the tatted drummer. Puppy, check your source, we can’t have rogue data. Nah she is the one who came out of a closet, not the closet, but a closet. Keep digging. Ok so we went with doggy humor. One of them is into doggy style? Oh right, the one is into wearing collars. Ya thought we meant something else didn’t ya?

    Bertha said this isn’t about who hid the salami, somebody was a bad boy and does not want a roommate named Bruce. The paper trail is long and wide, it names names, places, people, who was playing patty cake, what someone gave up in favor of a guaranteed election. How is the ulcer guys? The two men are doubled over holding their guts, one is groaning he is fine, sheep are not buying it. Puppy has not seen this level of pain since someone got something caught upstairs.

    Journalists are all vetching that they will be the first to go. The goat says he has your backs. You are not terrorists, do not belong on watch lists, nor black houses. Some of you at FOX might be terriers but even you, do not belong on watch lists. Those on college campuses and universities should not worry either. You were not the one to hide the Charmin in the loo. You did not give aid and comfort to the enema, buy them dinner and cigars.

    Don’t let anyone try to scare you into remaining silent. Bullies like to work in the dark, behind closed doors where their misdeeds cannot be seen nor traced. It is the Italian joke, they don’t’ like any witnesses, not just the loud ones. Nobody needs to wear duct tape, nor any RFK jr approved adhesive. If you do and you get a rash where it does not belong, that is on you. Literally.

    Nobody can totally ignore everything they have done. This goes way back. If you don’t speak up, you get run over. Remaining silent because you think you are immune to prosecution is not a defense. Journalists smell blood in the water. They know something is there and they want to find the truth. That is their jobs. It is not their jobs to lie, mislead the public. Judges are waking up to see their behinds could be implicated if the truth comes out, they colluded with POTUS. Judges he chose.

    Folks, remember the public is protected by the first Amendment. Nobody can change that. Bertha and Puppy are both giving the high five. Puppy, that is the middle paw.

  • Bertha Has a Hangover.

    Like many who drink to excess, sheep are no different. Our systems are not meant for large doses of alcohol. The blotchy fur, near purple, blood shot eyes, bags under her eyes, and breath-like snarl. Yep, the afterglow of a hangover. The smell of snarl coming thru the fur is beyond the pale. Was this due to St. Patrick’s Day? No. Although you would not want to see her after that either.

    The kind of hangover we are talking about is the afterglow of job loss, healthcare, free speech, ability to go buy deodorant at the market. Oh Bertha!!! Just got a whiff, oy, lady go take a shower. You tried and the stench won’t come off? That’s not good. Folks this is happening all over to both democrats and republicans. The smell of frustration, mental B. O., depression, malaise, the feeling you were played like a violin.

    Go take your showers, try to shave off the stench, gain some insights and realize we are all in this together. This is not the time to play prima donna. This is the time to get the chastity belt out, arm us with powerful weapons that don’t require bullets. We need power in numbers, grab your republican sisters and brothers, put your heads together (after a complete delousing) and let’s try to get our country back. This is time to use those claws on the people who are wronging you, not those of us who are in the same boat. You do not throw a life preserver to the iceberg that will sink you.

    Your kids will thank you for this, as in time this will come back to haunt them. Take away their rights to read the books they love, be healthy to play ball, or go to soccer camp? They won’t understand how you let them lose out on part of their childhood. They don’t care about guns, or prices of produce, apples, or eggs. They will want to know why you let a dictator with no scruples, nor empathy steal their childhoods, inheritance, jobs. They will want answers. Kids don’t care about republicans or democrats; they care about their families and friends.

    Bertha’s hangover is a symptom of how we all feel. We all feel like we have been sitting in a schwitz a little too long, had one too many hits on the hookah, spent too much time in the swing bar, dated too many men/women, drunk too much Jack and Coke, felt up too many sheep, or cats/ dogs, (pick one), done too much produce in a closet, no really, puppy knows all about this.

    It’s a feeling of why did I go there and who the hell was I with the night before? Yes, it is that feeling when you think you have gone to bed with Gilda and awakened to find Elon Musk. Hell No!!! You still might get that feeling after downing too much Irish Whiskey, but that is more like seeing aliens in the loo.

    No amount of Pepto can fix this. This is one of those hangovers that will take a Mac truck to blast it out of our system. One that is equipped with jail time, hand cuffs, whips and chains. Bertha, they don’t offer that in jail. She is snarfing. Puppy said it can be smuggled in. Do tell puppy is this a confession?

    Humans have to decide how much they are willing to put up with, how far it can go before the ulcers start kicking in. Losing jobs, rights, healthcare, safety nets is a lot to put on one person. Multiply that by millions and its asking for a heart attack. Ignoring it, hoping with prayer and scotch it will go away is putting acid on a hemorrhage and praying you don’t bleed out. The time to take off the blinders has passed. Your hangover. your way, might be ok for a little while, but when it becomes an addiction, and its end game is total pass out? It is time for rehab.

  • Bertha’s Con Men

    Bertha keeps getting pestered by men posing as celebrities. Name one she has heard from them. It does not seem to matter to them her photo is grainy, and she looks like she sat in a schwitz. Either they are very horny or just desperate. She decided to play along with the heavy breathing, moaning and idle promises of love on tile. Bertha has her eye on one man, not his fake…him.

    What makes humans go weak at the knees over, well everyone. Sheep think for some it’s the thrill of the chase. Bertha likes to see how far they will go before they begin asking for money from unsuspecting victims. One in particular keeps contacting her. Elon, how many times must she tell you …she’s just not that into you. Then comes the whining and begging, not from Bertha, the poor sap has it bad for her. Bertha likes to watch him squirm.

    But there were others too who have gone after her. Don’t know, maybe the crying game turns them on. One thing is for sure, she cannot get rid of them. One kept asking her to come away with him, she hates to fly. Another promised her a palace; the woman refuses to wear a burka. Her favorite kept love bombing her, night and day, Oy someone was after more than her buck tooth smile.

    How many shoes must women wear before they realize the true intention of these faux lotharios? But Men have also fallen victim, one swearing he was speaking to a drop-dead bombshell. He wasn’t. it was Puppy. Surely the poor man should have become wise when puppy kept making offers to rendezvous with carrots, produce in a closet. Really et tu Puppy! Have you no shame! Though we hear a certain Russian asset was into it. It just goes to show, you never know who you are really speaking to.

    Those sending pictures of their privates, we don’t think so. If they ask for yours, hell no. One did this to Bertha, not knowing she is a transgendered sheep. Oy his retinas. Never heard from him again. Poor guy, if you don’t know what the person looks like, that is a bad sign. If he refuses to give you a normal phone number, or email, don’t bother. If he tells you he is off the market or not looking for more than a one-night stand, believe him.

    Sheep have had friends who became totally enamored with one guy who swore he was George Clooney. Amal, breathe, it wasn’t George. Really Amal, no need to abuse the boy. George, was that you, confess. Sheep have caught some of these lotharios. 80-year-old men, posing as Eminem, Bertha felt sorry for him. This is why they take away those computers in nursing homes. One swore upside and down he was the Pope. Now we know the man has a sense of humor, and is entitled to one wild night before he cashes in. It was not the Pope. Elon showed up too, can you imagine his schpiel. Only if you give the zieg heil and don’t mind losing everything you own and are not into child support.

    Ladies, in this economy, and with the world going crazy, people are doing all kinds of crazy stuff. Con men have been around for decades, some worse than others. Bertha says we need a coalition of women to just say NO to all con men. How would you know if the person you meet is normal with the sea of fakes polluting the waters. Much like cubic zirconia, it loses its luster, fades and at some point, you see the real material beneath. In Cubic’s case, polished glass or zircon. With con men, they always slip up. Take notes to what they say so you can go back and remind them of their previous comments. Bertha has even looked some up, copied and pasted the actual information in that person’s fake web site. It is perfectly legal and a good way to warn other women.

    So, what do you do if you land one who contacts you? Bertha asks them if they are afraid of latex, ladders, are they attached to their kidneys, and how about their liver? Hey, someone who is interested will have a sense of humor and be able to answer all of those questions. If he is fake, he might call you a twisted sister, warn others about you and run like hell. Puppy says you have to ask him if he is into doing produce. Got it little guy.

    Bertha makes it clear she is into whips and chains, handcuffs, likes to tie men up. The woman is into torture, she is not submissive, will spank you, give nips of the paw, has teeth and isn’t afraid to use them. Now this turns some guys on, are into the whole weird leather get ups, want you to wear their mother’s clothes. Those you want to avoid. If they are into warfare, expect you to give out top secrets, that might be a red flag.

    Con men won’t bring that up unless they think they have you on the ropes Beat them to the punch. Tell them after first contact you want to have their kids, get married, marry the dog. The cat isn’t off limits either, but she has to get those nails filed first. The poor guy by this time will be reaching for the Jim Beam or out buying Gibraltar. Honest men may go for the liquor but will hold off on the straits. He wants to meet the cat first, see how they get along. If there is no connection other than teeth in your leg, yeah, that’s a sign it’s a no go.

    Ladies don’t get the wrong idea, sheep are not against men, we love them. Bertha loves them. Puppy loves produce but that is a whole other issue. Just know if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s a sheep. Some may surprise you and be normal, decent, just watch for those red flags. Don’t be shy to call them out on it. George, stop calling Bertha. Do you really want her chasing you around the room, using her whips and chains? Well?

  • Bertha Educates POTUS

    Oh Potus, what are you smoking? This is not the time for syph to kick in. There is no other excuse for making such poor choices. If it isn’t syph and it’s not dementia, then you are someone’s bitch. Pissing off the public is one thing, but to have been banned by members of the free world, oy have you fucked up.

    When one has fucked up to that extent, there is no coming back from it, and if they do take you back, there is no coming back from it. It could take years, lots of begging and jail time to fix it. Even then expect the side eye and a short leash. The worst of all you managed to get offices closed that you need to get back into those good graces. Sheep can multitask, we were born for it, but you, not so much. But sheep are here to try to help you….Pay Attention….Focus…

    First of all, Donald, stop inhaling. When the straw hits resistance just stop. No more playing pattycake while working. No more spankings, toe sucking, none of it. You have a headache. This is not the time to give it up to Elon. Time and Place. People are complaining, judges are finally saying No to you. Take the hint. You are not supposed to be the bitch to the man who paid off your debts. Didn’t anyone tell you how that works? Did you sign a pre nup when you took that money? Did it outline what your responsibility to him would be after? You didn’t read it.

    He is expecting a happy ending you idiot. He wants the codes, all of it. He has you on a tight leash getting the world turned against you. Hell, he has you in his lap, on your knees and you don’t even see it. No Donald, you do not give him the happy ending. You tell your partner this isn’t going to work, he cannot have all of the money and the power. He will whine, call you names, make you dance naked on tables. Ignore him.

    Did he tell you that he plans to use his weapon against you? Or that his toys are bigger than yours. Must sheep slap you upside the head? Do we really need to throw you into a cold shower to get you to wake up and smell the hummus? You were given a second chance to redeem yourself with Vladimir and you blew him off. You insulted a perfectly good match for you, which could have led to others, and you said NO? He played nice, put up with your insults finally told you to cock en knee fun yum. To those who don’t speak Yiddish, it means go play with yourself. Ok so sheep spelled it out using phonetics, spank us. Yes, sheep cleaned it up. Censorship you know.

    Stronzetto, the French are calling you un cochon, Canada is telling you au revoir, the Brits are calling you a stupid fop. Must we go on? You lost their trust, which is why you must reverse this. This is the time to promise and show them you blew it, literally, had one too many hits on the snake and want them back. Talk is cheap Donald you will have to fire Elon, rehire everyone back with interest all of it.

    Bertha is hoping he takes the hint. She is afraid he has been stroked so many times he won’t go back to Melania. She recognizes the signs, that dopey look of love, needing a cigarette after bedtime. Oh, they had this boy pegged, tied him up and down, had their way with him and will spit him out. Ego is a dangerous thing You assume the position to get more, beg for it, will do anything for it. Wait, are we talking cocaine or adulation? Either way its costly, and the end result can be a disaster.

    This is not the time to play up to your groupies. It is time to tune out the noise and say screw them for a sack of ashes. You have to look at the bigger picture, it’s a mess, a disaster. No more blaming Sleepy Joe, this is all you. The world is watching you, waiting for you to go back to women. Don’t look back, put them in your back seat, oops that came out wrong, it’s time for you to undo the mess you created. Dammit we did it again. Send back the leather get ups, whips and chains, no more garter belts, perfume. No Bertha we are not talking to you. She is hyperventilating. Yes Donald, the spankings have to go too. You must go cold turkey. Now Donald is hyperventilating.

    If you are lucky, perhaps Vlad will take you back, but know you are on a short leash. You hurt his feelings; his family is getting hurt. Go kiss and make up. Use the excuse of too much Viagra, hell whatever works. The world is watching…

  • Sheep Won’t Be Silent…

    We ask humans to join our rebellion. We cannot be silent, accept status quo. That is what led to the Holocaust, and sheep are not having any of that. Trump, Putin, Elon all think by firing the masses, shutting down federal offices, shutting down social programs that are vital to the wellbeing of Americans, they can silence us. Bertha et all are here to tell you they are wrong.

    Puppets of Putin and they don’t even see it, doing his dirty work, ya and they think they are in charge? Oy, do they have a lot to learn about Geppetto. Like strings on a Stratovarius, they are getting their egos stroked, played, to the tune of “I’ve got you under my thumb.” Really? If a transgendered sheep and produce romping mut can see thru it, how is it they, et all are getting played? Hitler did something similar, he banned books, free speech, thought, shut down programs, all of it. We saw that outcome and come hell or high water, that will not be making a return.

    It’s one thing to want to tone down crass language, discussions about violence against women, babies. Sheep can sort of accept that, sort of. But to try to totally silence the masses, that shit just does not fly in the face of democracy. One of our own, who is close to us, someone we really admire, almost had this happen to him. Em would not have any of that. Guess what, now who is laughing. He is laughing all the way to the bank, donates his earnings to those who are less fortunate. VS, those who shut down federal offices, kick people out of their jobs and income, healthcare, all of it. Sheep ask you, now who is the asshole? It isn’t the rapper trying to use sarcasm to get people to think, but those Kool Aide fed innocents who were misled at the voting booth.

    Marshall, sheep have your back, Bertha would like to have both, but for now…. sheep dreams. It takes a village of people to stand up to those harming others. Nobody should feel fear, or repercussions for doing so, get silenced, threatened. Those are the acts of guilty con men. Honest people want and like to see humans joining together regardless of party, class, color, size, race, choice, speaking out and up. Honest leaders may not be hip, though Barry, you did pull off a mean Bruno Mars Uptown Funk. But people like the guy you liked to call Sleepy Joe, Hillary, Bernie, AOC, Lynn, and all of the past leaders, senators, on both sides, all tried to warn you.

    Nobody likes to think they could be that mis lead, conned, played. These guys were pros, used every trick in the books of Karl Rove, Putin, Satin, aka Dick Cheney. You all became their chosen targets, played on your fears, greed, need for ignoring the laws, to become brainwashed cats. I know, felines are going to get us for that. Sorry mon petit choux, vous etres tres magnifique. Cats are such divas. Hate to say it and we will catch hell for this, but it’s not the first time this happened. While everyone was distracted by Bill’s need to smoke cigars, things were starting to become the undoing of America as far back as 2019.

    The public was once again easily played. We saw Bill the cat get his whiskers tweaked and replaced by a guy named Al. An election came up, people were tired of the misdeeds going on in the litter box, and the rest is history. We won’t discuss Benghazi now, or those e mails of Hillary. More wag the dogs, more distractions. By the time Barry was running for the second time, the GOP and its players were preparing for what is happening today. They got sidelined by a guy named Joe Biden who had other plans. But let’s get real, even the Dems fell for the misinformation coming out of both camps. They pushed Joe out, put in Kamala and here we are.

    But Bertha you ask, what can Americans who are losing everything do to stop it? Folks, this is the time to remove the duct tape, I know, it’s great for the boudoir, if you are broke. a razor. This time we are using it to stand up and give the middle paw. No more Mr. and Mrs. nice sheep. This is the time you pull out all the legal stops. There is nothing illegal about peaceful protest. So long as we don’t see weave wars in the streets, people playing grab the salami in public, making public displays of themselves, or at least if they are, they have made themselves look presentable. Its ok.

    It is not a time to silence rappers who are trying to tell you what is going on, speaking the truth. It’s not a time to go after law enforcement who are doing their jobs and trying to protect you. It is a time to go after those Armani wearing, guys and women in Chanel sporting KKK attire. It is time to go after women like Karens and those annoying Maga dames in congress. Ladies, and I use that loosely, you are embarrassing yourselves. A gal sporting a hoochie dress and heels is not as offensive as you are. And must we say it, those gun toting grannies who insist on getting their guns blessed, oy. Ladies, guys, when it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, it’s not a sheep.

    Sheep advise humans to act fast before they can strip of all of what we deem real, necessary, our rights. Don’t let them threaten you with jail, or Black Houses once used to silence journalists prior and after 911. Oh yes, sheep knew all about those, but nobody took us seriously. Sheep don’t lie, but Trump et all lie their behinds off. Take off the duct tape, it will burn for a few minutes, or an hour. Take it off and use your voices, challenge them and do your research. Under FOIA there is a ton of data to be found when you look in the right places. Use it against them, if need be, catch them in compromising positions. Entrapment? No, that would be a sheep trying to wear a G string.

    Guys, nothing happens if you do not act. It is not violence we are suggesting, so no coming after me, I never said anything about pulling a January 6th, or a Fast and Furious. Did I encourage people groping fruit, no. Puppy, that means you too. He is sitting there sticking his tongue out at me. Time and place dear. We want our voices back, you need your jobs and salary, social security protected. This is not the time to be dainty, you will get skinned knees and knuckles, a possible black eye and bruises. What you get back is your dignity.

    We are all in this together and sheep have your backs.