Category: political satire

  • Nobody is Safe…

    For the rare few who have somehow managed to avoid the traumas millions of Americans have been forced to endure, Bravo. Make no mistake, you are not immune. Trust fund babies and children and adult children of millionaires, yes, those traumas are coming your way. Just because it hasn’t affected you yet, by no means indicates it won’t.

    Trump and his band of Nazis, billionaire boyfriends, enemas of the people, have stacked the deck against all of us. While we will suffer an oncoming and existing depression, those neanderthal rejects, monkey-imbred humans called maggots, are still singing his praises.

    Bertha, Puppy, and the rest of us finally woke up to see what this administration has really been doing to the American people, here and abroad. It has finally affected them firsthand when they were led to believe they were untouchables. Its about time, but you cannot go back and keep voting them back in. To do so will guarantee your demise one way or the other. You must vote them all out now and in the next election. It’s not a “yeah, maybe” situation; it is a Hell YES, you must.

    The government has outlawed people living in their motor homes, RV’s, vans, SUVs, and cars when they could not keep up with rents that have become impossible to afford. 3 jobs, two incomes, no frills, and you still cannot afford a mortgage, or rent is disgusting. People have not become lazy, they are not drug addicts, or all mentally disabled. The system is rigged against us. Stealing food from children, babies, food nazis, what have we become?

    Don’t assume Bertha and Puppy are immune. They are not. They struggled for years, living on social security, squeaking out a living, buying their groceries to last 2-3 months, are now in the same boat. Bertha is waiting to hear if she will qualify for Section 8. There are no guarantees, she and puppy may very well end up in Casa Santa Fe. They are boxing up their belongings for both scenarios. They know and are walking in your shoes. There is no shame in their game. They are tuning out the noise, packing, donating items others can use. Going are the Chanel gowns that take up space, Louboutains that don’t fit with a smaller footprint. Puppy will still be stashing, but even he is having to choose what produce and fruit will fit into his domain. That came out wrong, you get the idea. Dirty minds think alike, don’t we.

    Bertha wants to know where your voices are; we are screaming for you, but only going on TikTok isn’t going to cut it. We need massive protests in the streets, demanding the removal of Donald Trump and his entire administration. They are stealing off the backs of hard-working humans who are already struggling. Crickets. Guys, we have the power to make strange. Bertha, that is a typo; she means change. Don’t let them wear you down or your voices; that is what they want. Bertha is not afraid of getting cancelled. How do you cancel a sheep?

    We do not need more football players making millions while millions struggle to stay alive, feed their families, keep their homes, pay their rents. We don’t need funds that could feed families, children, and provide healthcare to be sent to Russia, China, Saudi. Our crisis is right here at home. It is screaming in big bold letters, bright red, lime green, screaming to provide help for those people.

    We don’t need Karens looking down their noses at people, behaving like uppity witches. Karen, you are not immune. Start packing your boxes. If you find people who are barely living funny, we have to wonder what makes you feel so special? Why do you have to be so mean? Your coworkers, may very well be those sleeping in their cars at night, struggling to pay their bills, feed themselves, working 3 jobs just to afford to live in a tent. Do you still think that is funny? Nurses who are working 3 shifts to end their day sleeping in their cars, grab showers at work, go in for another shift, who have lost everything. Do you think that is funny? Sheep do not. Sheep see all of you. We know your struggles are real, too real, and demand our Supreme Court take the stick out of their toucas, stop letting this happen to the people they swore to protect. Yes, we went there because someone had to.

    Our words won’t be approved by many; some will try to block the truth. You cannot hide the bodies for long. They are stacking up, and we have not even hit Hantavirus yet. The Supreme Court has the power to strip Trump et al. of stealing from the American people, putting them out in the streets, and robbing them of their hard-earned wages to feed their families. We want to know, How much worse do you want this problem to get? How many more families must be displaced, children affected, and starved, before someone says enough is enough? Stop playing politics with people’s lives and livelihoods.

    Your war and new virus are nice distractions, but do not fool anyone. Nobody wants another Covid, but not only will you have a pandemic, but it will be far worse with people living on the streets, without apartments they can go to quarantine. Did anyone bother to think about that? Sheep have. If it takes AOC and sheep to be heard, seen, so be it. Someone needs to stop playing footsy with the lives of the American people, robbing them blind, and not suffer legal consequences. The lives, dead who will and have suffered, are in the hands of this administration and the Supreme Court. The world is watching you; sheep are watching you, and we won’t remain silent any longer.

    Folks, we have the power to take back our country, and pursuit of happiness. But silence and fear are not the answer. Vote, your lives and families depend on it. You know what is right and wrong, and who the people are who have put you there. You have long memories; you are living this nightmare. Take it to the streets. It is your right, your voices matter.

  • Bertha is Fuming…

    Bertha feels your pain. Like Humans she is headed in the same direction millions of you have found yourselves in, through no fault of your own. 2 -3 jobs, and still people cannot afford rent, food, housing, nada. She applied to several apartments to be told, you need 3 times the rent, plus deposit, plus a deposit for the deposit, plus utilities, no amenities, air, a pretax to cover the taxes the owners must swallow if someone decides to skip out. Folks, the math isn’t adding up, on any continent, it does not add up. The same half assed idiots running congress are refusing to offer any form of relief to their constituents. Nothing says I love you like your snake oil salesman giving you the middle paw while taking your money.

    People are living in hotels, trying to live in their cars, rv’s, tents. Let me ask you all this, how is this harming any of you in your daily lives? How? Why do you want to see these people suffer, instead of offering them to park where they harm no one? They are normal people trying to survive, live, work, pay their bills and taxes like you and me. They don’t have cooties, or mental illness, few are on drugs, most are with kids, trying to feed and keep the families together. Really Bad stuff, right? Have any of you priced rents lately? If you can find any form of housing that is at 500, it’s in an area that suffers from gang violence, places you in a retirement community that is disguising the fact it’s a nursing home. yes, you must agree to a DNR, give up the last dime you have, lose any freedom at all, lights out at 4pm. No not going to happen. Young people are not going to go for it, even healthy people in their 60’s are giving the middle paw. You won’t get Bertha or Puppy in one, they had a meeting, not going to happen.

    This is not the rich vs the poor, it’s the elite who refuse to allow anyone to get ahead. It is the nuveau riche who assume it cannot happen to them. Oh really? Nurses and doctors, lawyers, anyone working over 40 hours, is losing everything. The last time we saw doctors and nurses sleeping in their car, it was for a Nooner or sleeping off a Nooner. Now, like many others they struggle to live incognito in their vans or RV’s, SUV’s. Teachers, union workers, anyone earning a paycheck or who is retired. Nobody is immune. Sticking your noses in the air as if you are superior does not make it go away or make you look good.

    The public is in a free fall, with no safety net, nobody to say hello, we see you and want to help. Instead, we must fund trump and his fake war. NO, you must take your rabbit ears out of your pants, show a spine and lock up all who put this country in this mess. Don’t you dare talk about how others might be gay, so what, you have innocent people forced out of their homes, children, real people, good people, suffering badly. Who gives a twat if someone has an accent. If they are here legally, leave them alone. Unless you are willing to help them, shut the hell up.

    People, you let this happen when you swallowed the KOOL AID. You let religion dictate your common sense, need to dummy down instead of letting this country move forward. If you effed up growing up that is on you. You cannot hold back those wanting education, who want safety in our streets instead of machismo in their pants. By the way there is medication for that. Education and religion can be wonderful things, but you need to not cherry twist whim over common sense. This is why you have a senile, puppet with dementia, in control of the football. If that does not scare the crap out of you, it should.

    Elections are happening and those who are homeless won’t be allowed to vote, republicans knew that. This is how they plan to cheat, don’t let those who lost their homes, address vote. Hello. Look at the math people, that is a lot of people who won’t get their right to free speech. Don’t let this happen, be their voices, speak up and say enough is enough. If you cannot get their houses back, give them a voice. Demand your governor, mayors, representatives push to allow the homeless some sort of rent relief. No landlords should be allowed to cash in on this situation. It is wrong, greedy and evil. They bought these apartments with the knowledge they have to eat some minga, most have the means to do so and write it off as losses on their taxes. That is money they are stealing from you.

    Bertha has walked the walk, not just talked the talk. She has walked in the shoes of the homeless, decided she would be your/our voices. Her voice isn’t going to be silenced, she won’t be threatened, nor kicked out because she speaks inconvenient truth. That will just make her scream louder. Nothing scares a republican like a ballsy dame with a voice. Ring any bells, George. Anne knew what she was doing.

    Bertha feels your pain folks, I see it, am keeping a close eye on it, and will soon be there myself. The difference is the second time around you have learned a few things. This cannot last much longer. People are fed up, tired of getting jerked around, told to shut up and take it. It can happen to any of you, so do not assume you are immune. Nanno seconds and you are looking at the back seat of your SUV in a whole new light. Think about it. Vote them all out. That is your legal right. Sheep are watching and so is the world.

  • Bertha Can’t Stop Shaking Her Booty…

    OMG, Bertha has been shaking her toucas ever since she heard that Lego video from “Iran.” You all know the one we mean. Bertha and Puppy are getting their groove on to it. Humans are blasting it in their cars, it’s a beautiful sight. Someone has good taste in music and can belt out amazing rap fondue. Not only does it speak to the world in ways nobody else can, but to be able to get people to listen to the words through music, even if you don’t like rap, is genius. Sheep applaud this kind of genius. Not just from the musicians, but those who chose to use it, release it from a world Trump is hellbent on destroying.

    You cannot get the same reaction just from a speech. It nails every war crime, vile attack, murder, proof; the orange taco is the cause of this fake war. Oh, it’s now a war, but it would not have happened this way, this soon. The author and creators of this Lego video, those in Denmark, the AI team for Iran, know this too. Bertha can’t wait for the new CD to drop, for the Grammys to choose a new piece of history. Marshall, this is one you want to attend. lol. This is so spot on, so hard-hitting, the fire element cannot be outdone. Media outlets, take your balls out of your pockets and show some spine. This is historic. It is epic, and it is brilliant.

    Bertha isn’t afraid to blast it on her car radio; she does not care who hears it. This is pure gold. The idea that the very people Trump is attacking know how to use this work, with AI, and release it for all to see is magic. This is the kind of warfare that our own military has taken notice of, is screaming Hazzahs, and is refusing to harm people, children, babies, mothers and fathers, sisters and brothers, nieces and nephews, cousins, just like every human on the planet. It’s not cowardice; it is power. It speaks volumes.

    Bertha condemns Israel and Russia, China, and North Korea for playing a man who has diminished faculties. They play him like a Stratavarious. They are playing chess with a man who is monkey-imbred stupid. They know how he responds, reacts, and what his fears are. They have studied this chimp and are using props to persuade him to do their dirty work. This is one of those times nobody had to help him; the guy is so deranged, mentally incompetent, greedy, desperate, on top of being a sundowning sociopath. This does not just make him stupid; it makes him incredibly dangerous.

    Those with a brain are leaving the Titanic, not slowly, but in droves, much like they did as it sank. Those staying, sticking by him, ignoring how he attacked Pope Leo and called him a savior. Sheep don’t think so. Yo, Donald, if any of your flying monkeys dare harm a hair on his head, you do know every Italian known to mankind, mafia dons, will toast you, and we do not mean with Cinzano or Gancia. Not the weed, we are talking champagne folks, the good stuff. No, not since The Godfather, will you see this kind of payback. Non tocare Leo. Capice?

    Sheep saw his post; it fooled nobody. Humans, this is a very mentally challenged, dangerous man. If you are not afraid, not of war, but of what this guy is capable of, you are not paying attention. Using the Cheney playbook to set up Swalwell with hookers, to remove him from what could be another republican seat willing to kiss the cajones of Trump as a wag the dog? Can anyone say Monica and the USS Cole attack? Hello. Yes, Donald, sheep know about this. The ship was attacked by the CIA, Israel, and it was covered up, and Bill got blamed. He was forced out. Trump is playing a dangerous game. Donald, sheep do their homework. We have the documentation on the USS Cole. Swalwell was an easy target; he spoke out against you, and he was a Republican. What is next? Are we going to see Margie with Patel in bed? Margie has your number; she isn’t playing.

    Humans, keep playing that Lego video, play it loud and proud. Iran is telling the truth. Donald and his flying monkeys are liars. Hegseth has a swastika, many. That alone says it all. He is blood thirsty, for profit. Our family members will die for this bastard, coward. Diss the authors and performers of this rap video that was AI used, but you cannot diss the truths, hard truths that are spoken. M, Bravo, Sheep approve. Bertha, keep shaking it, sister; we are doing the exact same thing.

  • Bertha says it’s Time..

    While getting rid of the two shag me Barbies was a good first move, until we get rid of Trump et all, folks, we are in for a rough ride. Sheep are already feeling the burn at the pump, grocery store, their nerves, and blood pressure. How much more must humans endure with this piece of sub phallic crap? He is beyond primordial ooze; the selfish, mentally and educationally challenged primate must not be allowed to continue.

    Allowing his minions to continue lying and supporting him for their own jobs is a joke. Did they not see that Trump has no intent on keeping any of them once he has used them up? Talk to Kristi or Pam and see how they feel about that. He rode them like Seattle Slew, getting all he could out of them, tossing them faster than Diddy ever would. He is loyal to nobody; your support means nothing to him unless he can fool or use you. Bertha said the last time she saw that much tossing was in a Diddy party with his two live crew. This was without the drugs, though we suspect they had to be running on date rape drugs to get through his abuse, no attacks on the Epstein victims, no intent to abuse them twice. Sheep are not going there in case you wondered. That vile piece of crap needs his nads removed publicly.

    Bertha says it is past time to remove them all from office. Unlike Maga, who still thinks he is better than a whopper, the rest of us have no intent on supporting their behinds at voting time. You screwed the pooch, did the deed, and now will have to pay the price. You slept with that dog, and his dog daddies, and now it is time for all of them to GO. No, but he told us, or he promised us, humans are picking on them.NO.

    This mo fo and his homophobic, xenophobic, white phobic, ethnic phobic, racist, disgusting, bands of puke, will not be supported by us, nor the world. He cannot have the codes, and his sick band of brothers must not get them either. That is giving a pyro a match, but worse. You can put out fires, but you cannot stop a nuke. This isn’t a game; he won’t get rich. War crimes have reached critical mass.

    It is time to listen to the sheep. We tried to tell you, warn you, and you would not listen. You called us crazy, and where were our tinfoil caps? Hello, only those actually wearing the caps are crazy. We are the sane ones. We saw this coming. Humans and sheep have no reason to lie; we are all in this together. We march, we support you, and feel your pain.

    Our military is going into a war they won’t win, can’t win. It is a suicide mission. For what? No peacekeeping will happen, no sudden support from the US. Another plane down, so far one survivor, but for how long, and who has them? Sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, kids, nieces and nephews will die. You voted for this. You had to see this coming, and if you didn’t? Shame on you. We are in a shameless war with no winners. The greedy bastards profiting belong in jail. That includes you, Ivanka, Jared, and all who financially profited. Insider trading is a crime, but let’s throw in war crimes to pad that, and you will never see the light of day. Nobody will pardon any of you, ever.

    This should be a time of light, peace, and harmony around the globe. Instead of enjoying jellybeans and chocolate bunnies, we pray that tea party sheep warned about won’t happen. That folks, you better throw into your Sunday prayers as you celebrate Christ’s resurrection, the second coming. The expression pop a nuke and have a tea party? Yes, this is what we were warning about. Sheep saw it coming. Now who is wearing the tin foil caps?

    Bertha needs her stash of sugar-free jellybeans and Chocolate rabbits; she cannot handle Trump without her dose of “keep me sane.” Pass the bag and throw in a bottle of GLP-1 for good measure.

  • Bertha Needs a Word..

    We know this is not the time for humor. Well, yes and no. She wants to make clear to the world, humans don’t want this war, not Trump, nor his billionaire boys club, world domination. This is not a James Bond film, and we are not looking for the Third Reich. To read or listen to anything Trump or his sycophants and supporters tell you, we are not hellbent on rising on Sunday. We respect those who celebrate Easter and his second coming. We are not talking about that. We love easter, and the easter eggs, heavenly hash easter eggs, and chocolate bunnies. We totally respect those whose beliefs celebrate Christ and Jesus. Personally, Bertha is willing to have her legs, get a good wax, implants at full salute, fluff her wigs, tan, wear her best bad ass Chanel, and totally slay in her pew. Ok, a sheep in her pew might sound funny, but you guys get it. Pew not Oh hell No, not the pen.

    Bertha is trying to tell those around the world that Trump’s war is not our war. We like having a melting pot, a fondue of cultures, sharing ideas, education, good food, and chefs, teachers, and doctors. Knowing this war was based on a lie and the crimes he committed before the war, the war crimes he has admitted to, are not what we, the people, voted for. Nobody likes to see innocent people dying or being harmed. We hate to see the venom and hatred aimed at those of us chanting NO WARS. If you got to see those of us in the streets marching, chanting, peacefully against him and his war, you would feel the love we have for our fellow men and women around the globe.

    But Trump et all don’t want you to see that. This is a deranged man with infantile personality disorder. Chimps have been proven to have a greater level of intelligence, compassion, and understanding, common sense than he has, or his imbred followers accept. Please do not lump us all in the category of the imbred, uneducated, cold and heartless.

    There is no reason to ever go to war unless it’s a last resort. For years, the US and our allies have tried to maintain a respectful, peaceful means to handle issues that have plagued the Middle East. We are not perfect, but attacking innocent countries, women, and children is not how we choose to govern.

    This will land sheep in the stockade, the pen, but we would rather know we tried to speak peaceful thoughts and wishes, than to spit venom on those who never did harm to us, and vice versa. The number of citizens who support this melting pot is higher than those in uniform fighting against everything they believe in, which they were taught. Those too stupid to admit Trump is wrong and a fool do not speak for the rest of us. We want him brought up on war crimes in an international tribunal for all the world to see.

    Bertha is crying. She hates the idea that other nations equate us with the rogue leader we did not choose. Bertha wants to sit down with you at her table filled with pots full of good food, wine, or tea, bread, and pastry. You might get fat, but you won’t end up in a bloody war. Sheep, like most humans, are peaceful people. Don’t confuse the cause of the constipation, the red-haired hemorrhoid, with those of us who prefer our roughage covered in cinnamon. We don’t want the war, just the cinnamon milk that comes after.

    War is permanent; you cannot unwring the bell. Nobody wants to see young men, women, and children die. Nothing is worth that. Sheep are peaceful beings; we respect others. Never confuse sheep with the moron in office. Trump needs to be brought up on charges, cough, cough, war crimes against humanity. But what do cross-eyed, transgendered sheep know? We know anyone who has not tried milk chocolate, marshmallows, pecans, and all of it shoved into a chocolate easter bunny is missing out.

  • Are We There Yet?

    Bertha wants to know how much more humans must endure before someone says 25. For those who are not aware, Article 25 is used to remove a president from office when he becomes a clear and present danger. Maga, you can try to put lipstick on a pig and hope he comes out a mink, but this pig is still a pig. No magic kiss, potion, prayer, or cherry-picked law allows for multiple criminal offenses to run a country.

    There is no escaping the Epstein files case. No illegal war, a wag the dog, nor any other illegal act against a country that did not attack us, can cover up a hardcore fact. The world is watching and knows what this is: a cheap shot cover-up attempts to distract from putting a sitting president before an international tribunal on international and national television for all to see. No speeches, bimbo blondes, or imaginary hirings can make this go away. Donald, you screwed the pooch. You gave it a bone and played fetch, and now you need to face pedophilia charges.

    The economy is in the trotter, gas prices have almost doubled in many states, and attacks on innocent people who did not break laws have become out of control. We do not attack synagogues, people with whom we don’t agree. You and your minions are not the judge and jury of our nation. Silencing musicians, journalists, authors, anyone who questions, denounces, or speaks harsh truths, does not belong in incinerators, prisons, or even swine could survive.

    When you speak, you are lying; when your people speak, they are lying, and no amount of lipstick can change that. You have vacated your position in more ways than one, have allowed TSA to go without salaries, government employees, nada. That is not presidential; it is amoral. Behaving like a sullied brat who isn’t getting his way and resorts to abuse, wars that kill innocent women and children, and lies about it, only makes you look like a 5-year-old in dire need of a diaper change. Even Dick Cheney would not have allowed Bush to behave that way. George was terrified of the man for a reason. He knew better. Your minions who would rather allow your misdeeds than lose their positions and money will go down with the ship and can only blame themselves for it. There was a reason for duck hunting, George got it. You and yours will have to learn the hard way.

    You have a choice: step down and take your trolls with you or face an international tribunal for all the world to see. The clock is ticking, Donald, and time is running out. The world is watching. Taking the American people down with you is grotesquely unfair, professional, selfish, and mean. We did not start nor ask for this war, and refuse to be seen as the problem of the world. Anarchy posing as anything other than what it is won’t help you. Using black ops to carry out attacks on our own people is transparent and tacky. Cheney could pull it off; you cannot. We do not have to be there yet, or at all. Article 25 is the answer, and it’s time for your entire cabinet. Let’s clean out the garbage all at once.

    Yes, we are at insane rents, grocery increases, gas prices, violence and abuse of our own people and others. We are seeing attacks on mosques and temples, with people choosing peace over crime and violence. We have rogue vigilantes killing and abusing people in the streets. None of that is anything to be proud of. It does not deserve second or third terms, but it does deserve jail time. The number of humans, even those who voted for you, want you and yours OUT. Get a clue. Folks WE are there.

  • Folks, This is real, very sad…

    Alison Oliver · 

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    BA (Hons) in History & Egyptology, The Open University (Graduated 2018)Mar 4

    I just saw an illegal Puerto Rican server at a restaurant. As an American, do I have the right to call ICE to deport him back to his country?

    Let just imagine that this person was an immigrant for a minute. They are halfway through their application process for citizenship and just trying to make an honest living while they wait. Minding their business and abiding by the law. Then BOOM! You turn up with your, what shall we call it? Good citizen ideology? Or just plain old racial hatred? You make the call to ICE. Next thing you know a gang of masked, armed to the teeth white thugs storm into the restaurant where this innocent person is working and drag them out. They disappear or get shot in the face on the street.”

    “Both of these comments were viewed on QUORA a website that offers a variety of material and is linked to LINKED IN. ” I saw this, and I could not ignore it. This isn’t satire; it is pathetic. At what point did this country, our people, decide we could be judge and jury over others? It is not our place to dictate policy, religion, size, shape, choice, or freedoms.

    For those who are too lazy, uneducated or just unwilling to accept facts, Sheeprants is spelling it out for you. Puerto Rico is part of the US. They are Americans who work just as hard as we do, suffer through hurricanes, tornadoes, crime, famine, and inequalities. They are some of the kindest, sweetest, most generous beings on the planet. To see brainwashed Trump followers, instigators, assume they can be the judge and jury over anyone is disgusting. To judge without knowing you are violating the rights and civil liberties of innocent people, who have done nothing to you or your family. Their existence has no bearing on how your day will go or your job. It might when you choose to admit your racist attitudes and willingness to harm others.

    We already know how ICE treats people, for them to get ahold of someone who did nothing wrong, who is only trying to live, earn a paycheck, pay rent, food, care for their families, just like we are. To assume you have the right to report them because they don’t fit the Suzy Cream Cheese image of what white is; is gross. It smacks of Nazism, and we are not a nation that recognizes such grotesque behavior towards others.

    What the second person stated was spot on. It had to be said just like this. If we have to lose readers, we will, but we will not support the nazi regime trying to show its ugly head once again. We will not encourage anyone to speak negatively against any group that has not committed crimes, harmed others, or done anything to warrant such crass comments and behaviors.

    It is time we take a hard look at what your leader is really doing; that create divisions where they do not need to exist, as wag the dogs. Turning our own people against each other is not who we are. WE do not make the rules, judge, or throw innocent people to wolves who have no moral compass. Sheeprants is dedicated to opening eyes of people to topics they might miss, ideals they may not understand until it’s too late.

    We try to use humor and sarcasm to show relatable things people do to survive. Nobody should have to use violence or the intent to incite a vicious act against another. You should not feel proud or happy if someone is harmed or killed. That is not behavior any book would encourage, no teaching, and no amount of cherry picking can defend. Yes, I am calling out all of you supporters of racism and bigotry, religious cherry-picked garbage to control women or their bodies. Yes, this is for you too. You are not on this earth to harm others, dictate how others live, or dictate how their bodies work. You are not here to attack groups of people who are here legally. How does it feel to have the finger pointed at you? You cannot silence their free speech if you don’t agree with them. It might not be your cup of tea, but you do not cause harm where it is not meant to be.

  • Puppy is Caught Stashing…

    Bertha and Puppy have been preparing for a trip back to the farm. Bertha is buying her: bicycle pump, plaster, harnesses, duct tape, Preparation H, Super glue, Wax, Rubber bands, pliers, Shag Me Sailor lipstick, and Eau D’ Snarl perfume, tea bags, plastic baggies, trash bags and clips, Whoopsie drops for those moments of violets escaping, corks, Louboutains, Chanel gowns and tennis shoes, cutlets for those moments when things deflate, and she wants that caught you looking, look. She isn’t one to use light bulbs, or tennis balls, anything that could cause a chipped tooth. The woman wants to be prepared for all of it.

    Now, can she get this through TSA? NO. Will that stop her? No. If they have not stopped Hillary, they cannot stop her. Her leather get ups, whips and chains, blue dresses, hot sauce, fish crackers, laptop never stopped her. Bertha, you are fine. Puppy we need to worry about. No, he isn’t the UNI Bomber, nor weapons of mass destruction, it’s strictly produce, melons, no pineapple, or chocolate, it gives dogs the trots. The little guy likes to get his ya ya’s on in closets, behind chairs, and has been known to be caught shagging a watermelon. He has been banned by cruise lines, trains, busses, so the airlines know he needs to be watched. Do you want him to rappe a carrot? NO? C’est au mage, He makes his own crudite platter for latter.

    If they decide to question him like they did Bill and Hillary, do you want to know where he did those activities or with whom? He will tell you, yes, he was on Epstein Island many times, was seen in the hot tub in the background. No, that was not Tip O’Neal, it was puppy. Did he see anyone with whips and chains, and if so, who was wearing the dog collar? Who wore the blue dress better, Bill or Putin? Neither, but Elon gave it a good try. It didn’t fit so we acquit.

  • De Ja Vue 2000 vs 2026

    Bertha is looking back pre 911 when all hell was breaking loose. There was: cigar gate, that damn blue dress, a dame who was no dame, coverups and wag the dogs, 2 rogue leaders and a dude named Saddam, not to be confused with Some dame with gonorrhea, a goat who saw and knew too much, a floozy who got someone a bit boozy, a group of guys trying to shut us up, a war we didn’t need by people who were in their right minds, but in the wrong pockets.

    Flash forward, not much has changed, we have Epstein files, and a broad named Get Laid, world leaders, a current president, caught with their pants down, now playing hide the salami to avoid pedophilia charges. Trump is using his Johnson to keep the courts at bay. We have not seen that kind of devotion since 911. Innocent men and women getting forced to play ball with good old boys in Congress. Hillary and Bill, nice job. Now it’s time to watch Trump go before an international tribunal for an illegal war as a wag the dog to cover his tracks. Dirty dogs always try to cover up where they hid their balls.

    Honestly all that is missing is martial law and a singing canary, which we already heard from. Nice Job Melania. Folks, we all know this war is nothing more than a desperate attempt to distract you. You do know we started this war, are getting played by Putin and Israel, and now we run the risk of the idiot in chief having the codes. He will lie and tell you the enemy is at your door, when it’s just the mailman. His goon squad is already kidnapping soldiers off the street who speak out and disappear. Yes, the very things sheep tried to warn you about happening is happening. Did you listen or believe us? No, you were too busy smoking wacky weed and getting lap dances with wolves, your nails done in salons owned by the little tyrant. Well folks, put on your chastity belts because the South is about to get the blow job of its life.

    Because you preferred the apprentice to someone who had a moral and ethical compass, that promised you the moon, now we have something much worse than 911. Trump pissed off Atilla and now he and his Huns are coming with a big stick. In case you didn’t notice, gas prices are going to hit the roof before this is over, we will see a draft, food prices will continue to go up, more goons will start pulling people off the street that dare speak out against Trump and his band of Nazis. Is that what you really wanted?

    Little boys with their guns going after anyone who they cannot differentiate between Italians, Puerto Ricans who by the way are legal Americans, or anyone of culture, class or substance. Wait, that is already happening. Instead of men saying this is wrong, they are defending it. You cannot defend the indefensible, arrest people for free speech, when you have a man in office with 33 crimes under his belt, impeachments, thefts, pedophilia, tax fraud, now international incidents and murders that require a visit to the Hague and international tribunals for war crimes.

    It is time to clean house, get all of the garbage out in one fell sweep. You do not leave remnants of those willing to continue the levels of criminal behaviors in office to do worse. Doing nothing will invite a repeat of 911, or worse, and nobody wants a tyrant in office. Make no mistake, Vance, Rubio, all of them will be worse. It won’t be what you all assume it will be. You didn’t listen to Bertha before, now it’s time you do. Forget first class privilege, it’s going to be every man for himself doggy. If it did not work for the Titanic, it sure as hell won’t work here either.

    This isn’t Nazi Germany, we don’t incinerate those who speak out against what is wrong. We don’t go door to door demanding to see people’s birth certificates, or proof. We do not have vigilante goon squads to intimidate innocent people, children, babies. This is the USA, we follow the rules of law, nobody is above it including presidents, nor staffers, and you cannot silence the truth. This is our bus, we don’t have first class or tourist, we have people riding, treating each other with respect and dignity no matter what they are, who they pray to, color, size, culture. This isn’t a rogue society, it’s not a game, this is life. It is real and its mis deeds have consequences. Put those who broke our laws in jail, impeach them and all who aided and abetted them. It is us or them. Let’s have each other’s backs, not make a bad situation worse.